Today is Valentine's Day, and there will be no chocolate for me. I don't mind at all.
I am by default a compulsive overeater. My adult life has
been a fight to maintain a healthy weight and stay in shape. You might not know
this by looking at me, but it would be a mistake to assume that a thin person
has no such struggles.
If you read It Started
with Dracula, you know that I have been on many diets, some successful and others
just plain crazy. Weight Watchers is my most recent program, but lately my WW
goal has been receding into the distance after nearly four years of successful
weight loss and maintenance. Despite my attempts to correct the
situation, it has persisted.
Emotional eating is eating that originates from feelings
other than hunger; sadness, anxiety, and excitement are examples. Over the last
few months I have seen the result of such eating: of the pants hanging in my
closet, I choose the same pair—my mom jeans--every day. The others are too
tight. Every couple of days the mom jeans go back into the laundry.
Yesterday was different. Oh, I still wore the mom jeans, but yesterday I ate reasonably:
no binges, no frequent snacking, no bedtime treats while I watched TV. Even
when I ran through the possibilities in my mind, no food appealed. I did not want to eat. That was curious, to say the least.
Sometime yesterday I also realized that my To Do list has been
out of balance, weighted by too many things I dreaded. Every day I awoke to
that checklist from hell: make doctor appointment, call insurance company, make
other doctor appointment, get tax information together, write something
brilliant before the deadline, find out why the contractor dropped off the face of the earth…
Should a retiree be stressed out? I don’t think so; aren’t
these our leisure years? But there it was, and my nature also includes
procrastination. I had been putting some of those hellish chores off for weeks
or even months. The items that made me anxious sent me to the kitchen to make
recipes instead. If I didn’t cook, I hid in a book or went out somewhere. Until
yesterday.
Yesterday I called the two doctors, put the last of my tax
documents into the 2013 folder, asked for help on a project, and completed
other anxiety-producing tasks on my To Do list. The doctor appointments had
topped the list. Even though I now have to GO to the appointments, my anxiety
about making them immediately evaporated once I’d done it. Is that what made
the difference in my appetite? It’s too early to tell, but I’m hoping to keep
at this and work some variety into my wardrobe before spring thaw.
Here’s the point: We all need balance in our lives, and mine
has been missing. Part of the reason might be the isolating winter weather, but
the To Do list has been a factor, too. In addition to tackling the tough jobs, I
(and maybe you) need to put more items in our path that we can look forward to--trips,
time with friends, special treats—so that all the dates on the calendar won’t
be for doctor appointments.
Valentine's Day is a good day to begin.
