Monday, March 19, 2012

Clog in the Machine

Okay, now that I’ve written about writing, I can write about the Kardashians. Warning: If you didn’t like my blog about Kendra, you might not like this one.

I keep up with the Kardashians, and sometimes it’s a lot like work. Oh, it’s easy to follow their story if one is being weekend lazy and turns the TV to the Entertainment channel, E!. E! has gotten lazy, too; when its daytime lineup doesn’t include showing “Movies We Love” (e.g., Knocked Up) until some of us hate them, E! repeats episodes of “Keeping up with the Kardashians.”
We really have no excuse for missing the months leading up to Kim’s lavish wedding to the athlete Kris Humphries, whose giant hand on hers was a source of morbid fascination to me as they walked together down the aisle last year.
I watched it all, and then Kim filed for divorce after only 72 days of marriage. Her story: A “hopeless romantic,” she was swept along in the wedding hoopla and didn’t want to disappoint those who had poured their time and millions into planning her special day.
The couple’s legal battles have continued into 2012, as each accuses the other of fraud. Kim has maintained all along that she wanted “a family and babies and a real life so badly.” As one who keeps up, I say, “Bull.” Sorry, Kim, but this time I have to go with Humphries, even though I don’t particularly like him, based on what I’ve seen and read.
His story: He loved his wife and was blindsided by the divorce. Maybe so, but anyone who says to his new bride, “Babe, by the time you have kids and they're in school, no one will care about you,” needs to be served divorce papers. And was he really expecting Kim Kardashian, a workaholic with a current net worth of $35 million from endorsements and appearances, to move to Minnesota?
My publicist says the key to success and happiness is managing our expectations. When I get ready for a book signing, I try to remember that.
The soon-to-be exes should have talked a bit more about expectations, IMHO, because his were blindly unrealistic. Maybe he didn’t watch the “Kardashians” episodes in which Kim bought and decorated her mansion, wiping down surfaces like someone possessed. I suppose he was elsewhere when the rest of us saw her closets, with all the hangers exactly alike and every sweater folded to perfection. He must have missed the show in which his future bride scolded her mom and sisters because when they stepped off the walk, their high heels made holes in her back yard. Maybe he was out practicing basketball during those episodes; otherwise, he would have known not to leave “messy piles of clothes” around the house.
The groom was unrealistic, but I also believe the bride misrepresented herself—not a very good start to forever. I don’t believe their wedding was solely a publicity stunt. However, I do believe that Kim is solidly married to her career but might not know it.
Kris, as cocky as he seemed on the show, had no chance against the Kardashian machine. The family closed ranks, supporting one of their own against the world. Imagine if you had a family like that! Maybe you do. Imagine a publicity machine like the Kardashians’. What would that be like? I guess it would depend which side you were on.
Disclosure: This blog was originally written in November 2011. It was updated just before posting.